I couldn’t actually come up with a title for this one, but it’s all because of this: I guess I’m graduating…

A few days ago, both of my readers signed off my thesis. I’ve been in a very strange mood ever since. Part disbelief, part relief, and part catatonic bliss, this feeling is hard to put into words beyond: I just finished an MFA in Fiction…

I know it doesn’t sound like much, but it’s insane to me. Going back a whole decade ago, teenager me did not even think he was good enough for college (and I still don’t think I’m good enough, so I don’t know how I made it through). When I got into college and got to participate in a creative writing class, I couldn’t believe it. It was amazing. Somehow being there gave writing a sort of legitimacy. I wasn’t just some dude mashing keys on his laptop at a Starbucks. I was a real writer.

At some point though, I’m not sure when, that feeling subsided. Maybe it was because I learned about an MFA in Fiction, a degree that was supposed turn a writer into the best writer they could be. That sounded like a dream come true. Sadly, every time I heard people talk about these degrees, they made it sound like only the best writers ever got accepted. To worsen the notion, friends applied to MFA programs and got rejected. Some close people to me never even got into one, and that made me lose hope.

How I even hope to get into one if they, who I have always thought as better than me, could not?

Coming back to real time here, I don’t mean to say I’m better than them and that’s why I got in. I think I was just lucky. Were it time and place, or a blessing from some other source. I will never know. Fact is…I got in…and I’m graduating in less than ten days. I’m still shocked. Am I a better writer? Will I suddenly transform on June 18th? I’ve graduated from college twice, and this is my final time unless there’s some big life change. And yet, I still cannot grasp this feeling.

I’m…I’m graduating. I’m graduating with a degree I only dreamed about.

That said, I also wanted to post something more here…a little link. Now, because of obvious reasons, my thesis is not online. Only my readers (and workshop) got to see it–if I ever want it published via a traditional way, a draft of it cannot be floating around in the internet. However, my statement of purpose just went up. It’s sort of a weird thing to share here, but I though: Why the hell not?

Check it out HERE (SOP) [click download on the right]